


Wildfire

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Wildfire-Verse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Mind Reading, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Character Development, Dysfunctional Family, Emperor Darth Vader, Emperor Luke Skywalker, Force Healing, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Poe Dameron, Jedi Training (Star Wars), M/M, Maul Is Not Nice, Meditation, Mentions of potential harm to children, Minor Injuries, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Rebel Ben Solo, Rebel Leader Leia Organa, Rebel Poe Dameron, Redeemed Qi’ra, Sith Empire, Sith Luke Skywalker, Skywalker Family Drama, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Luke Skywalker took Vader’s hand on Bespin, and everything changed.With the death of Palpatine and the ascension of Luke Skywalker (now Darth Desolus) and Darth Vader to Emperors of the galaxy, it’s been nineteen years since the decimation of the Rebellion. Ben and Rey Solo are just trying to survive. And when Poe Dameron enters the picture, he gets dragged into the middle of it all.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Wildfire-Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769836
Comments: 18
Kudos: 12





	1. The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Kind of exciting, going back to the OT era. Ish.

”How old are you?” Leia asked Poe. They were in the command center of a repurposed Rebel base (it had been nineteen years after the Battle of Endor that the Rebellion had been in known space), where Leia had prepared some sort of Dagobah tea (why Dagobah, Poe had no idea) that Poe was trying to get down. He wondered absently if stomaching the awful tea was the test — as well as the ominous stares from Rey and Ben. Rey clearly disapproved of him. Ben seemed more watchful, and...fascinated? Poe wasn’t sure. 

”I just turned twenty-two,” Poe said. 

”I see,” Leia said. Then, “Why did you decide to fight?”

What kind of question was that? “Well,” Poe said, “I wanted to be a pilot like my mother.”

He could have sworn Leia winced a little. 

”Did I say something wrong?” Poe was good at staying calm, but he doubted he wanted to blow the interview in the first two questions.

”Not at all,” Leia said, but Poe had a feeling she was lying. 

”Yeah. My mom wanted to join because people were hurting and she wanted to do something. She was a great woman, my mom.”

”So I’ve heard,” Leia said. “And what skills do you have?”

”I’ve been a pilot since I was a kid,” Poe said. “My mom taught me a few tricks...well, before she and my dad got killed.” For a moment, he could remember his mother’s voice. “ _Kes, take Poe and run_!”

A nod from Leia. Her face softened. “I see. You’ll have to go through training with Wedge Antilles, but given your mother’s expertise, I have no doubt that you’ll do well.”

Ben and Rey meanwhile...their faces seemed to have softened. A bit. Still looking at him funny, but not as bad as before. 

”Where do you live now?” Leia said. 

Poe shrugged. “I’ve just been drifting planet to planet trying not to get noticed. It’s been kind of hard."

”I see.” A beat. “I can feel the Force is very strong with you.”

”What? Me. No. Me and the Force...my family’s as blind as bats.” Even thinking about it too hard was enough to make a swell of panic rise in Poe. 

”Still,” Leia said, “It’s been protecting you.” She leaned forward, almost like she had a secret to share. “My son and daughter...I’ve been training them for nineteen years. You...you need some control over your Force Sensitivity too.”

”I...” Poe swallowed. How could he explain that it was a Force Sensitive, two Force Sensitives, that doomed the galaxy?

Ben spoke up. His voice was deep, almost disconcertingly so. “Who else is going to train you, Cadet Dameron? Certainly not Vader or Desolus.”

”Yeah, I know that,” Poe said, trying to keep calm. “Listen, General...I’ll consider what you said. This is just a lot to take in.”

Poe could have sworn that Ben was watching him as he walked away. 

***

”You went through the General Organa job interview too?” A brunette woman, rather pretty, intercepted him outside the command center. “Condolences. You probably had to endure that creepy stare of her two kids too.”

”They’re not that bad,” Poe said. “Who are you?”

The woman shrugged. “I’m Zorii. I know you: you’re Poe Dameron. Smuggler, scavenger, any odd job you can think of...”

”Didn’t know I had a reputation,” Poe said. 

Zorii laughed. “Humble too. Think I like you. Look, don’t let Ben Solo get you down; he’s just got a stick up his cargo hold. Hell, that family’s weird in general; if General Organa wasn’t good at her job...”

”Harsh,” Poe said. 

”Still. Look, if you need an ally in this place, I can help.”

”Okay.” Then, “So, the outfit...”

”Used to be a smuggler. General Organa caught me and I had to pull a Jyn Erso: they just drafted me.” Zorii sighed. “Still, not like I object. I mean, it’s them or the Empire, and I don’t like the Empire.”

”Me neither,” Poe said. ( _Stormtroopers flooding into their house..._ )

Zorii nodded. “You in Antilles’ squadron?”

”General Organa suggested it.”

”See you there, Odd Jobs.”

Zorii walked off. Poe sighed. He couldn’t say he was comfortable with how she talked about General Organa, but at least he had a friend in this strange place. 

***

Poe made his way to his room on the base. He could imagine, just for a while, decorating the room, making it like home. How, he couldn’t say — but he’d find a way. He still couldn’t come to grips with the fact that he was Force Sensitive. Force Sensitive, like Vader and Desolus. Would he have the same potential to wreak havoc if he embraced his powers? Poe shuddered to think about it. 

_Just sleep on it, Dameron_. 

Sleeping on it was a bad idea. After a nightmare involving acting out the role of a masked figure slaughtering innocents...Poe woke, gasping for breath, shaking and sweating and trying not to scream. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t just keep running away. Where was he going to run, the Empire?

He headed down towards the Command Center, where a golden protocol droid was. “How do you do?” the protocol droid chattered. “I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations — ”

“Thank you. If you see General Organa...” Poe swallowed. “If you see her, tell her Poe Dameron’s accepted her offer of Jedi training.”


	2. Hands That Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shows a better side of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The protocol droid’s face couldn’t change (obviously) but he shuffled away nonetheless, assuring Poe he would notify General Organa. General Organa emerged from the command center (was she able to sleep at all?) and it was there that Poe noticed she did look a bit worried. Ben and Rey emerged behind her, Rey looking distrustful, Ben looking watchful.

”That’s good then,” General Organa said. “Get some sleep, Jedi Dameron. You’ll need it.”

Poe nodded. He couldn’t quite argue with that, now that he thought about it. Even as he headed back to his quarters, he could have sworn that he felt Ben watching him. 

His nightmares were busy. Images of Vader's face, the familiar modified version of the suit that he wore (apparently, he’d been mysteriously healed long ago. It was frightening, Poe thought, the idea that he would look like any sixty-four year old man), and being forced to kneel in front of both Emperors. Even as he broke out of his nightmares, shaking and sweating and trying not to scream, he had a feeling that all this, all of it, was still very close. 

***

It was on his datapad that he got the message from Ben that General Organa wanted to see him. Poe dressed, preparing himself as best he could for the day. There was something about making his way over towards General Organa and the Solo twins where Poe wondered where they’d exactly begin in terms of his lessons. 

”I can’t say that I have a set way we’re going to begin this lesson," General Organa said. “My training was more conventional, but I don’t know if I can replicate it. After all, being conventional, following the Code piece by piece, won’t fit for our circumstances. For example, they forbid attachments and romance.”

”Why?" Poe said. 

”Their logic is how the first Dark Sider was created. There was a man, Xendor, who was discontent with how the Order was being run. A woman deeply in love with him, Arden, joined him. Together, they were a destructive force.”

Poe nodded. “So all this happened because of two people? That’s...something.”

”It is,” General Organa said. "But the way I see it...love doesn’t automatically lead you down the path to the Dark Side. Obsession and possessiveness are dangerous and should be avoided, but love itself can be a beautiful, transformative thing." A beat. “I know that my husband and my wife...they’re testament enough to that.”

Poe nodded. He’d heard of the unusual polyamorous relationship that General Organa had with both Han Solo and Qi’ra (formerly Darth Eris). He hadn’t thought that General Organa would also marry a Sith apprentice, but there she was. 

”That’s wonderful," Poe said. 

General Organa smiled. Then, “Ben...I was thinking that you and Rey could instruct Jedi Dameron in combat.”

”I’d say that we have an unfair advantage,” Rey said. “We have lightsabers. He doesn’t.”

Poe spoke up. “I heard that vibroblades can be very resistant to lightsabers — ”

“There was an old woman who had her hand cut off fighting a Sith Lord with a vibroblade," Ben said. 

Poe could swear that they were the most arrogant, humorless idiots that he had ever met — though he wasn’t about to actually say that in front of General Organa. Moms could get angry when you spoke badly of their babies, after all. 

”Enough,” General Organa said firmly. “Ben, perhaps you could instruct Poe in the ways of combat?”

”Him?” Ben said impatiently. 

”Ben, at least think about the greater good...”

”Right.” Ben sounded a bit irritated though. "Do you know how to duel, Dameron?”

Poe shrugged. “I could beat up some thugs on Jakku with my staff.”

”We won’t be dealing with double-ended weapons,” Ben said. “Single-bladed is more common. The twin blades are harder to master.”

Poe nodded. “I guess.” He couldn’t say he found it that hard, but whatever Ben said. 

They took their vibroblades and fought — Poe was surprised, almost caught off-guard by how _graceful_ Ben was. Stars, he was hoping that Ben would be some clumsy oaf that would be easy to defeat, but Ben was...good. _Great. Not only is he an egotist, but he can back it up_. It mostly relied on Poe trying to remember his reflexes on Jakku and other places to even begin to keep up with Ben. 

Eventually, their blades locked. Ben was pressing into Poe’s shoulder, the edge of the vibroblade seeming to dig a little bit. Poe pushed back, but Ben — kriff, but he was strong. 

Kneeing him in the stomach wasn’t just a good way to break the hold, but actually kind of therapeutic. 

”What _was_ that?" General Organa scolded him. "This is practice...”

”I’d say,” Ben panted, “He surprised me. In a good way.”

Never underestimate a drifter, obviously, but Poe, in the midst of his worry, could at least feel some pride that he managed to surprise Ben Solo in a good way. 

***

It was Ben who volunteered to heal the cut on Poe’s shoulder. “I took it too seriously,” he said. “My apologies."

”S’okay,” Poe said. He wouldn’t deny the way his heart raced when Ben touched the place he’d been cut and closed his eyes. The best Poe could describe the sensation that came next was that it was warm, soothing — warm water. The stinging passed, and when Poe felt his shoulder, he found it was smooth and unmarked. 

”Well, thanks," he said. “What did you do?”

”Force Healing,” Ben said. "It allows me to give some of my life force to...heal your injuries. Sometimes it can be used to raise the dead, though many in the Order saw the power as an abomination. A violation of the will of the Force.”

”Huh." Poe didn’t know why Ben couldn’t have just given him a medpac, but maybe he wasn’t that bad.

”It can be dangerous too,” Ben said. “There’s been stories of people depleting their life force or their Force Sensitivity in order to resurrect someone.”

”Right.” 

”I shouldn’t have hurt you,” Ben said softly. “I only hope you’re prepared on the battlefield. Any enemies we come across won’t be merciful.”

”I know that,” Poe said. _I’ve known that since I was eight_. 

"You are strong,” Ben said. “And resourceful.”

”That’s the first compliment you’ve paid me. Well, one of the first.”

Ben tilted his head. 

”I just don’t know what you think of me,” Poe said. 

”I,” Ben said, “Am thinking about it.”

He walked away. Well, Poe thought, at least they were kinda sorta progressing? At least Ben didn’t completely have a stick up his cargo hold. At least. 

***

Wedge Antilles — Rogue Leader — was lecturing. Apparently there was something that Poe had to learn before he could get to the flight simulators proper. Even as Poe took notes — kriff, practicing with Ben had been tiring — he couldn’t help but think of Ben's touch as he’d healed Poe’s cut. How he'd kinda sorta sabotaged his attempt to be nice later, granted, but still. At least he tried. At least he wasn’t completely stuck-up.

Maybe, in a way...Poe could feel sorry for him. Maybe he needed a friend. Did he have any friends on base?

 _Him, Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows?_ And then Poe chastised himself. After all, he didn’t like thinking mean thoughts about people, even if they did deserve it. 

In between his notes on his datapad, he wrote down ideas to try and get Ben Solo out of his shell — only stopped by Zorii elbowing him.

It was after class that Poe said, “Y’know, I was taking notes.”

”About Ben too?" Zorii said. “Look, he’s just a schutta. Trying to make friends with him is a lost cause.”

”He’s not all bad. I mean, a bit grumpy, but he’s not, like, evil...”

Zorii looked doubtful. 

Poe sighed. “He patched me up after combat practice,” he said. “He’s not that bad.”

”Really?” Zorii said. “Interesting. I was used to him being a stormcloud on base...”

”Well, we’re fighting a war. You think he’d be skipping and singing songs from musicals?”

Zorii snorted. “At least I know what my new nightmares for the week will be about.”

Poe smiled. “You’re welcome.”

"It won’t be easy making friends with him, Odd Jobs.”

”No,” Poe said. “But I like seeing the good in people.”


	3. Qi’ra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incident during training further aggravates tensions between Ben and Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was in the middle of the night that Ben woke up, his nightmares a confused mixture of things he’d heard from his three parents, as well as the matter of Poe himself. He lay on his side, trying vainly to get back to sleep and failing. His dreams had been frightening in the parts about Vader and Desolus, more soothing when it came to Poe. Even though they shouldn’t have been. 

Poe represented the things Ben wasn’t familiar with. Not that he and Rey hadn’t been trained as Jedi, of course, but anyone else...

Mom and Mama were the closest things to fellow Force Sensitives that Ben had. Dad wasn’t Force Sensitive, and Ben wondered sometimes if that was a blessing in his eyes. 

And Poe had such a potential for falling. He could sense Mom’s fear when Poe talked about certain things, apparently reminding her of Vader and Desolus. Before they fell. 

Before things went wrong. 

Growling softly to himself at his inability to sleep, Ben got to his feet and padded down towards the kitchen area. He knew it decently well, where Mom would show Mama and Dad recipes from Alderaan — it was enough to give Ben a stab of melancholy, thinking about the adoptive grandfather he never knew. 

It would be preferable to his actual grandfather. A man in an obsidian suit, masked, who’d hurt Mom and tortured Dad and contributed to freezing him in carbonite before Mom saved him. That was before they met Mama, of course.

”You should be asleep, Ben.”

Mama’s voice, formal and proper-sounding. She was getting caffa, and Ben good-naturedly raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re not asleep.”

”It's Mom,” Mama said. “And your father. They couldn’t sleep either. I can hear them humming.”

Not literally, Ben knew, but there was a sort of energy she felt from them. 

”And Rey?” Ben said. 

"Most likely trying to sleep,” Mama said. “You know her.”

Ben nodded. Rey had developed some techniques to help her sleep, like imagining more pleasant places they went to. Ben envied her. He wondered if Rey ever worried about turning out like their grandfather and uncle. Though she was definitely wiser than either of them. “I had nightmares.”

”I’m sorry,” Mama said softly. 

Ben shrugged. “You didn’t cause them.”

“Still,” Mama said. “It’s like Mom and Dad — they have nightmares, and their pain becomes mine. You’re no different.”

She sat down, caffa in hand. Ben was struck by how almost queenly she looked, even in her middle age. Her dark hair was bound in a ponytail, streaked with gray in places, but like Mom and Dad, she still looked awe-inspiring. Ben could imagine that she’d been a force to be reckoned with as Darth Eris — not that she wasn’t now. 

Mama smiled a bit knowingly. “Mom tells me you’re quite fascinated with Jedi Dameron.”

”I’m not,” Ben said, sighing; he wasn’t truly exasperated with her though. ”He...just bothers me for some reason. I know he bothers Rey.” True, Poe was clearly clever and resourceful and kind and strikingly lovely (Ben couldn’t help but envy how his features actually made sense) but really, Ben was bothered by him. Just the idea that Ben was dealing more with Force Sensitivity, considering everything else he had to worry about. 

”He seems like an interesting man,” Mama said. “Almost like myself...well, before I found Mom and Dad again.”

Ben laughed, surprised. “Are you saying that I’ll...make him better?”

”It could go either way. Or any other way.” Mama took a sip of her caffa. “Definitely an improvement over that strange drink from Dagobah,” she said, smiling a bit. 

Ben laughed. There was something about being in the kitchen area that felt calming. He knew that neither his grandfather nor his uncle would get them. Everything was okay. Mama’s eyes twinkled, before she became more earnest. “Ben, whoever you choose, if you choose anyone at all, you deserve every bit of happiness I can give you. You, Mom, Dad...”

”You too,” Ben said. 

Mama smiled. “I’m working on it. Redemption isn’t a straight line, or an easy road. The reason I am where I am in the Rebellion is that I had to earn their trust. And your father’s too.”

”I trust you.”

Mama laughed. “You’re my son — ours. Of course you do.” Then, more seriously, “Poe actually does remind me of myself, in places. In helping him, you’re not letting history repeat.”

”I’m no one’s mentor.” Ben said. 

”You give yourself too little credit,” Mama said.

Mom and Dad walked into the kitchen in that moment, and Dad smiled at Mama and Ben. “You two look like you haven’t slept well.”

Ben shrugged. “Just bad dreams.”

”I know the feeling,” Dad said. He squeezed Ben’s shoulder. There was something reassuring about the gesture. “You should get back to bed, little bandit. You can give us a shout if you need us.”

”Thanks.” Ben smiled at his father as he spoke. “Will do.”  
  
He headed back to bed in that moment, climbing into bed and closing his eyes. He could only hope that his nightmares weren’t as busy.

***

Poe noticed that Ben looked kind of tired, even beaten down, when he re-emerged from his quarters the next morning. His hair was a mess, and there were shadows under his eyes.

”You okay?” Poe said, tentatively. He had a feeling that Ben probably didn’t want to talk, but still, he couldn’t help but be worried for him. “You look like you had a bit of a rough night.”

”Fine,” Ben said, a bit tightly. 

”I’m just a little — ”

“I don’t just tell my life story to anyone,” Ben said. “Really.”

Irritation flared in Poe. “You really can’t pick an emotion and stick to it, can you?”

”It’s not one of my specialties,” Ben said.

It was then that a woman who looked to be in her middle age at least walked out. Her hair was bound in a ponytail, streaked in places with gray. “Ben,” she said, her accent sounding possibly Coruscanti, “Enough.”

”Sorry, Mama,” Ben said, and it struck Poe: one, this woman was one of the only people who could actually get Ben to not be a schutta, and two, she was likely Leia’s wife. One of the components of this unusual polyamorous relationship. 

The woman held out a hand to Poe. “I’m Qi’ra,” she said. “Qi’ra Organa-Solo.”

”Poe Dameron.”

They shook. Poe could sense Ben’s distaste; did he somehow think Poe would steal one of his mothers away from him?

”Ben taught you a bit about dueling,” Qi’ra said. “I thought I’d bring my expertise to it. And the Force. I used to be Sith.”

”I know,” Poe said. “How did you leave?”

”My master was killed by Ben Kenobi — my son’s namesake,” Qi’ra said. “Afterwards...there was a moment when I wandered planet to planet, an ex-Sith who had no idea what to do. But Han and Leia found me. Han and I were childhood sweethearts on Corellia, and Leia...it was hard not to fall in love with her, her resilience, leadership, compassion. They saved me from the Dark Side. I owe them a great debt.” _And Ben Solo_ , the unspoken phrase was. 

”It was brave of you,” Poe said. 

”That’s kind of you to say, but I’d say I’m better at cleverness and survival than bravery.” Then, “I might as well tell you about the Dark Side. It has more cons than pros. It offers you strength, power, but at a terrible price. I suffered...intensive training under Darth Maul. I learned later that Palpatine himself tortured him in the name of making him stronger.” A beat. “The Dark Side is abuse, and glorified abuse at that. A vicious cycle that goes through the centuries, leaving ruin in its wake.”

Next to Poe, Ben shifted, clearly uncomfortable. Had he heard this tale before, about his second mother being tortured by her Master?

Poe shuddered to think of it, bearing such a terrible burden in knowing that each of your parents had trauma to bear. 

”The Dark Side preys on our most basic fears,” Qi’ra continued. “On our anger, on our sorrow. That’s what makes it so easy for anyone to be seduced. The real victory isn’t being impervious to fault. Rather, it’s being afraid and holding firm nonetheless.” A beat. “Leia taught me some meditation techniques. Ben, Poe, Rey...sit with me.”

Poe was aware of Ben’s proximity, the warmth of his body — and how, truly, conflicted he was. The pain that seemed to send cracks and fractures through him, much like transparisteel. Guilt too. What could he have to feel guilty about? Desolus was Vader’s son, but what did that have to do with anything?

“Close your eyes," Qi’ra said. “Focus on your breathing. Reach out — not with your body, but your mind. What do you feel?”

”There’s a lot of people,” Poe said. “Too many.”

”There are,” Qi’ra said. “There are techniques to control the noise; I may teach you these later. You feel their presences, their energy, the ever present balance of the Light and the Dark? Existing since the beginning of the galaxy...”

And Poe could feel them. All of them. Rey, who wanted to be as good as her mother. Ben, worrying about falling to the Dark Side. Qi’ra, having seen the Dark Side and come out stronger and wiser for it. 

”I feel everything,” Poe murmured. 

Long after the lesson ended, Poe looked at Ben, who stared at Poe like Poe had somehow burned him. Rey looked less unsettled, but still unsettled. And Poe had a feeling he had touched closer to the Solo twins’ vulnerabilities than he anticipated. 

***

”It was an accident, Ben,” Poe managed to gasp out even as he caught up with Ben, “Really.”

Ben turned around, and the way he looked — he didn’t really look angry. He looked _afraid_. 

“I don’t just tell my life story to everyone who asks,” he said. “You’re no exception. Stay out of my head; I mean it!”

”Ben — ”

Ben stalked away. Stars, what could Ben have to be afraid of? After all, it wasn’t like Poe would think less of him somehow.

”I’m sorry, Ben,” Poe whispered to the empty corridor where Ben had been. “Really.”


	4. Hearts of Kyber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe make steps to being more civil towards each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“You shouldn’t have snapped at Jedi Dameron.”

Even as they sat together, mugs of caf in hand, Ben couldn’t help but glare at Qi’ra. She meant well without a doubt, he thought, but she didn’t really understand the humiliation he felt, the pain of Poe getting too close. Brushing against his mind, getting too close to the truth. 

To knowing he was Vader’s grandson. 

He almost envied Poe, having a normal family before it was taken away from him. At least Poe didn’t have to deal with the matter of being Vader’s grandson and Desolus’ nephew. His mother had told him about them...in bits and pieces.

” _Not all Force users are good, little angel. Some of them use their powers for evil.” And even as Leia spoke, Ben could sense how tired and sad she seemed._

He had seen snippets of his mother’s memories too, of her mind being probed by a man who was a father to her in blood only. Of being forced to watch her planet destroyed, of overhearing Han being tortured. Of watching as Han was frozen in carbonite. And he wondered who exactly would do that to their own daughter. A monster, maybe. A beast with no soul. 

And Ben was terrified, truly, of not only turning out like Vader and Desolus, but someone finding out his secret. 

”He doesn’t know how bad it is,” Ben said. “What if he — ”

“Thinks less of you? He won’t. No one should be blamed for the actions of family members. No one.” A beat. “You don’t choose your DNA.”

”I know.” Ben sighed. “He scares me. Scares me and fascinates me all at once. I fear if I get too close to him, he’ll burn me.”

”I doubt that will happen,” Qi’ra said. “Love can be a beautiful thing. It can scar, yes, but it can also heal the heart.”

It made Ben smile, faintly. He couldn’t help but marvel, really, at how deeply Qi’ra cared for her two spouses. 

”Revan and Bastila, for example,” Ben said. 

Qi’ra smiled faintly. “I think you may be Bastila. And you’ve found your Revan, in a way.”

Ben snorted. “I doubt he’s an amnesiac Sith Lord.”

”Still,” Qi’ra said. “I can’t help but see a resemblance between you and Bastila. Great power, of course, and great self-doubt. You worry so much about turning out like your grandfather and uncle, but I know you.” A beat. “You’re like your father. He didn’t realize how much of a good man he was either. At first.”

”I suppose.” There was something about Qi’ra’s faith in him, in her family in general, that was enough to make Ben feel better despite himself. 

”I know you,” Qi’ra said, smiling. "I’ve known you since you were small. And I know you’re nothing like Desolus and Vader. You’re worth a thousand, if not a million, of both of them."

Ben nodded. There was something about Qi’ra saying that...she’d been to the Dark Side and back. She knew. Leia tried, and Han tried, but they didn’t quite understand. Especially Han — not that it was his fault. After all, Han wasn’t born Force Sensitive. He didn’t know what it was like. 

And Qi’ra saying that he was nothing like Desolus or Vader...Ben knew, at least for a moment, he could trust her. 

”Thank you,” he said. 

”No problem. And trust Poe. He’s not your enemy.”

”Yet.” Truthfully, he reminded Ben too much of what his mother had described of Desolus before he fell. He had felt it. 

Qi’ra sighed. “I don’t sense the Dark Side in him, Ben. There’s no use anticipating threats where they don’t exist.” A beat. “I doubt he’ll join Vader or Desolus. I know it.”

***

It was after breakfast that Poe ran into Ben — Ben, who looked suitably chastised. Probably one of or all three of his parents, Poe thought. It was a bit odd seeing Ben Solo looking a bit embarrassed. 

”My second mother said that I might have judged you too harshly,” Ben said. 

”S’okay,” Poe said. “I know most people don’t like having their thoughts read. It was an accident, though. Really, Ben.”

”I believe you,” Ben said. “You’re...powerful, but inexperienced. I know I’m powerful, but I’m still learning.” A beat. “Walk with me?”

Poe nodded. He wouldn’t deny that there was something about being close to Ben that was...intriguing. 

They walked down the hallway. It was strange, Poe thought, how short he seemed next to Ben’s tall, muscular form. “I guess I have a question,” Poe said. 

”Feel free,” Ben said. 

”Why do you hate me so much?”

Ben stopped abruptly, almost like Poe had genuinely surprised him. Then, “I don’t hate you.” A beat. “I’m...unsure of what to think of you. You’re a mystery. I don’t know if you’ll choose the path of Darkness or the path of the Light.”

”Well, if it makes you feel better, the Dark Side doesn’t sound very appealing,” Poe said. 

”I know,” Ben said. “I only...am reminded of someone. When you were being interviewed, you reminded me of how Desolus was described to me, before he fell.”

Poe wrinkled his nose. “That’s...disturbing.”

”You can only imagine how it feels to me,” Ben said. “Like you, as I understand it, he wanted to be a pilot. Like his father.”

”Vader was a pilot?” It was common knowledge that Vader was Desolus’ father. Poe only wondered about and pitied Desolus’ mother. Who would have been unlucky enough? 

”During the Clone Wars,” Ben said. “And he was a Jedi. He was also comrades with Ben Kenobi, my namesake. I don’t know what turned him to the Dark Side, what lies the Emperor fed him. I can only imagine Vader swayed Desolus by offering him a family. Home.” A beat. “But when you stood in the interview room, I could almost imagine what Desolus was like before he fell.”

”You don’t need to fear a man who you don’t even know,” Poe said. 

”My first mother and my father knew him well,” Ben said. “Maybe too well. They described him as kind, idealistic...it is odd to think his better qualities became so twisted.”

”Yeah. I can see that.” Poe wished he could say he had experience with that. He, truthfully, had no idea. 

Silence. 

”I won’t be like either of them,” Poe said. “Vader or Desolus.”

”I can believe your conviction. At least,” Ben said, “I should be helping you...not antagonizing you. I’m sorry about that too.”

”S’okay.”

The look of delighted surprise on Ben’s face made Poe want to get it out of him more often. 

***

”You seem to be getting along better,” Leia said wryly. Qi’ra, meanwhile, looked outright victorious. So she had talked to Ben, Poe thought. 

”I realized I was being a nerfherder,” Ben said. “At least a little bit.”

”Slightly,” Qi’ra said. “I spoke with your mother, Ben, and she agreed Poe should build his lightsaber.”

Poe wouldn’t deny that his heart began to race at the very thought. 

”We’ll have to travel to a location that the Empire won’t expect,” Leia said. “Dantooine...the Empire assumed it would be too remote to be an effective demonstration with the Death Star. That and it’s mostly a relic of the Old Republic. Back in the Old Republic days, many Jedi trained there, in the Enclave or in the Temple on Coruscant...before Vader destroyed it.”

”So we’re going to Dantooine?” Poe said. 

”To gather crystals,” Leia said. “I’ll have to stay behind, naturally — Han, Qi’ra and I have to look after the Rebellion. But it should be interesting, finding kyber crystals and learning more about Jedi history.”

”Yeah.” Poe supposed that there was something exciting about it, learning about the Jedi history that was there. 

***

Rey insisted on coming with Ben and Poe. Poe dreaded it, though he supposed that at least Zorii was coming along too. Thank the stars for that. They also had to take a different ship, if only because the _Falcon_ was too conspicuous, especially as a ship that had contributed to Vader’s failure to stop Luke Skywalker at the Battle of Yavin. 

General Madine had acquired a freighter. The _Tranquility_ , it was called. Poe supposed it was appropriate considering they were sneaking past the Empire to Dantooine itself. 

“It should be exciting, at least,” Rey said. “Learning about the Jedi. Their history, their culture. So much that Vader and Palpatine destroyed.”

”And Desolus,” Ben said. 

A nod from Rey. “Obviously.”

They boarded the _Tranquility_ , and Poe sighed. “We need a pilot. And a co-pilot.”

”Rey and I can do it,” Ben said. At Poe’s raised eyebrow, he said, “I’m not saying you’re incompetent, Poe. Really. You may be an enigma, but I don’t think you’re bad at your job.”

”Well, thanks,” Poe said wryly. 

Zorii rolled her eyes. “This should be fun,” she muttered once she and Poe were out of earshot of the Solo twins. 

”Ben’s not that bad,” Poe said. 

”If you say so,” Zorii said. “I just hope we all make it out without murdering each other.”


	5. Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe share a breather en route to Dantooine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Mercifully, the ship was on Autopilot until the crew (their small crew, Poe thought) reached Dantooine. He was, at bare minimum, glad for that. 

Even exploring the ship, Poe knew that he had called a lot of ships home over the years, being a drifter. His mother had taught him how to pilot, before she had been murdered. 

_”The controls are here, little bird.” That was what she called him. Little bird. “You have to have different grips for different vehicles. It won’t be so funny when your ship crashes...”_

Poe hadn’t processed the very idea of his mother crashing a ship at the time. In his mind, Mama was invincible, unstoppable, almost goddess-like, even as she and Papa hid from the rest of the galaxy, from the Empire. 

Walking through the ship was a lot like walking through a house that Poe was trying to get familiar with. It would no doubt be for a short time, wouldn’t it? After all, it wasn’t like they were keeping the ship. Not exactly...

”You’re restless.”

Ben’s voice. Softer than Poe expected, but still enough to make Poe spin around in surprise. 

”Yeah. I guess I am.” Then, “You didn’t have to sneak up on me.”

”Sorry,” Ben said. 

”No problem. Maybe we could explore the ship, see what’s there?”

Ben shrugged. “I doubt there’s anything there except the usual suspects.”

”Still,” Poe said. “We’ll be there for a while. We should get comfortable.”

The ship seemed empty. The basics were there, Poe thought — a cargo hold, an engine room, and so on — but it seemed like an empty house, waiting to be filled. 

”You seem fascinated by ships,” Ben said. 

Poe shrugged. “My mother taught me about them. I didn’t leave Yavin IV until I was eight. When my parents...”

Ben nodded grimly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said, “So young.”

”You didn’t cause it,” Poe said. 

”Still,” Ben said. “I admit...I do see some similarities. I was on the run for much of my childhood too. To get away from Vader and Desolus. Considering Desolus’ prior friendship with Mom and Dad, if not Mama, as well as my Force Sensitivity, and Rey’s...Desolus would have not hesitated in killing us or using us for his own ends.” A beat. "I didn’t quite go through what you did, but I know what it’s like to feel like you need to keep running no matter what.”

Poe nodded. Ben seemed so vulnerable in that moment. It was unfair, that Ben didn’t get to have a normal childhood. That he had had to live in fear instead of being a little boy. 

(And Rey. Not getting to be a little girl, but being relentlessly hunted by monsters. Considering Vader had apparently killed children at the Temple...Poe didn’t want to think about what he would have done to Ben and Rey, or what Desolus would have done)

”I’m sorry,” Poe said. Then, “I guess we’re not that different. Though...I’m not as important as you.”

”You’re important,” Ben said. “I can’t think of anyone who isn’t somehow important.”

Poe smiled faintly. There was something about that, being called that by Ben of all people, that felt...good. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

”It’s the truth,” Ben said. He sighed. “I admit I do have problems sleeping sometimes. When I was a boy, I sometimes saw inside my parents’ mind...”

”And you tell me off for getting an accidental peek?” Poe said. 

”I misjudged you,” Ben said firmly. “My own powers...they’re unrefined. Rey has more control of it, but then again, she’s always been extraordinary.”

”I can imagine.”

”She’s a prodigy,” Ben said, smiling a bit. "I admit I’m proud of her.”

Poe nodded. It was sweet, seeing a gentler side of Ben, he had to admit. Maybe Ben wasn’t that bad. A bit of a grump, but considering his childhood, who wouldn’t be? 

Then, Ben said, “I admit there’s a lot I don’t know about you. Especially after I misjudged you.”

”Well,” Poe said, “It’s fine. What do you want to know?”

”Anything.”

Poe told him. Told him about times he’d spent scavenging on Jakku, and he didn’t miss the way that Ben tensed up, the way he seemed shocked at the junk bosses’ treatment of him and the other scavengers. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised the Empire’s done nothing,” Ben said. “But it’s still horrible. I’m sorry.”

”It’s fine,” Poe said. It seemed he had to keep saying that. Still, it was nice, he supposed, to have someone who cared about him, worried about if he was okay. Maybe Ben was really just a softie underneath all that prickliness. (Justifiable prickliness, at that. Poe had always considered himself a compassionate sort, but the need to ease Ben’s pain felt stronger than he anticipated)

They sat in silence, Poe wishing that there was a way to help Ben. To bring out the parts of him that were wonderful. There was an angel living in his heart, and Poe wanted to see more of it. 

He didn’t say it out loud in those exact words. But he said, “You’re a better man than you give yourself credit for. Really, Ben.”

Ben smiled faintly. “Mama, my second mother...she says stuff like that, but between you and her, I...just hope I can live up to your expectations.”

”I think you will.” Poe said. “I’m starting to know you and...I like what I know.”

Ben smiled. “I like what I know about you too." He sighed. “I should probably rest. You should too. Rey and Zorii are asleep, I know that." A beat. “Good night, Poe. I hope you sleep well. I’ll be not far from you if you need something.”

”Same.” Poe said. 

Ben left, and Poe wondered absently to himself if it wasn’t just friendship being planted in that moment. Either way, he was in freefall regarding his feelings for Ben Solo — and he hoped Ben would catch him in the process. 


End file.
